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Latest News

23 / 01 / 2012
Fantasy Rally:
Teams are now open for editing again. Ogier and Mikkelsen are entered into Sweden in S2000 cars, but they're not eligible for the SWRC championship. You can choose them as WRC drivers for Sweden if you want.

22 / 01 / 2012
Fantasy Rally:
Results from the Monte are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. The second rally is in Sweden and starts on 9th Feb. Teams will be frozen at midnight GMT on the night of Thursday 9th Feb.

18 / 01 / 2012
Fantasy Rally:
Rally teams are now frozen for the Monte. You can still pick a team and it will start scoring from Sweden on 9th Feb.

11 / 01 / 2012
Fantasy Rally:
The 2012 Fantasy Rally season is now open for entries! Read the rules or dive straight in and pick a team. You can change your team as often as you like so you may as well create one now in case you forget later. Cutoff for the first race in Monte Carlo is midnight GMT on the night of TUESDAY 17th January.

27 / 11 / 2011
Fantasy F1:
The results from the final F1 race at Brazil are in and the championship has been decided! Check the results or see how your team did. First race of 2012 is Australia on 18th March. Entries for the new season will open a week or two before that date.

14 / 11 / 2011
Fantasy Rally:
Shock rally drama! Martin Semerad was excluded from the PWRC, so our results change too, which gives us a new champion! Check the results or see how your team did.

13 / 11 / 2011
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally GB are in and the season is over! Check the results or see how your team did. The 2012 season will be open for entries in early 2012 in time for Monte Carlo on 17th January.

13 / 11 / 2011
Fantasy F1:
The results from F1 race 18 at Abu Dhabi are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Only one race to go - the final race is Brazil in two weeks on 27th November.

30 / 10 / 2011
Fantasy F1:
The results from F1 race 17 at India are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Only two races to go - next race is Abu Dhabi in two weeks on 13th November.

24 / 10 / 2011
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Spain are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. The next and FINAL rally of the year is Wales Rally GB on 10th November. Entries close on the night of WEDNESDAY 9th November (a day earlier than usual).

16 / 10 / 2011
Fantasy F1:
The results from F1 race 16 at South Korea are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is India in two weeks on 30th October.

09 / 10 / 2011
Fantasy F1:
The results from F1 race 15 at Suzuka are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is South Korea next weekend on 16th October.

02 / 10 / 2011
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally France are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Spain on 20th October.

25 / 09 / 2011
Fantasy F1:
The results from F1 race 14 at Singapore are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Suzuka in two weeks on 9th October.

11 / 09 / 2011
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Australia are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is France on 29th September.

11 / 09 / 2011
Fantasy F1:
The results from F1 race 13 at Monza are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Singapore in two weeks on 25th September.

28 / 08 / 2011
Fantasy F1:
The results from F1 race 12 at Spa are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Monza in two weeks on 11th September.

21 / 08 / 2011
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Germany are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Australia on 8th September.

01 / 08 / 2011
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Finland are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Germany on 18th August.

31 / 07 / 2011
Fantasy F1:
The results from F1 race 11 at Hungary are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Spa in a month on 28th August.

24 / 07 / 2011
Fantasy F1:
The results from F1 race 10 at the Nurburgring are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Hungary next weekend on 31st July.

10 / 07 / 2011
Fantasy F1:
The results from F1 race 9 at Silverstone are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Nurburgring in 2 weeks on 24th July.

26 / 06 / 2011
Fantasy F1:
The results from F1 race 8 in Valencia are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Silverstone in 2 weeks on 10th July.

19 / 06 / 2011
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Acropolis are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Finland on 28th July.

12 / 06 / 2011
Fantasy F1:
The results from F1 race 7 in Canada are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Valencia in 2 weeks on 26th June.

30 / 05 / 2011
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Argentina are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Greece on 16th June.

29 / 05 / 2011
Fantasy F1:
The results from F1 race 6 in Monaco are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Canada in 2 weeks on 12th June.

22 / 05 / 2011
Fantasy F1:
The results from F1 race 5 in Barcelona are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Monaco next weekend on 29th May.

08 / 05 / 2011
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Sardinia are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Argentina on 26th May.

08 / 05 / 2011
Fantasy F1:
The results from the fourth F1 race of 2011 in Turkey are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Barcelona on 22nd May.

17 / 04 / 2011
Fantasy F1:
The results from the thrilling third F1 race of 2011 in China are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Turkey on 8th May.

16 / 04 / 2011
Fantasy Rally:
The results from the rather shortened Rally Jordan are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Sardinia on 5th May.

10 / 04 / 2011
Fantasy F1:
The results from Malaysia have been updated to reflect the penalties applied to Hamilton and Alonso. Of course, being a Ferrari, Alonso's didn't actually make any difference.

10 / 04 / 2011
Fantasy F1:
The results from the second F1 race of 2011 in Malaysia are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is China on 17th April.

28 / 03 / 2011
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Portugal are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Jordan on 14th April.

27 / 03 / 2011
Fantasy F1:
The results from Australia have been updated to reflect the disqualification of the Saubers.

27 / 03 / 2011
Fantasy F1:
The results from the first F1 race in Melbourne are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Malaysia on 10th April.

14 / 03 / 2011
Fantasy F1:
The 2011 Fantasy F1 season is finally open for entries! Pick your team now as the first race is on 27th March!

07 / 03 / 2011
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Mexico are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Portugal on 24th March.

14 / 02 / 2011
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Sweden are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Mexico on 3rd March.

06 / 02 / 2011
Fantasy Rally:
At last! The 2011 Fantasy Rally season is open for entries! Pick your team now as the first rally starts on Thursday!

14 / 11 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from the final round, Wales Rally GB, are in! Check the results or see how your team did in the final standings.

14 / 11 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the final race at Abu Dhabi are in! Check the results or see how your team did. Please come back and play again next year!

07 / 11 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the eighteenth and penultimate race at Brazil are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. The final race is Abu Dhabi next week on 14th November.

03 / 10 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Spain are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next and final rally is Wales Rally GB on 12th November.

24 / 10 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the seventeenth race at South Korea are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Brazil in two weeks on 7th November.

10 / 10 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the sixteenth race at Suzuka are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Korea in two weeks on 24th October.

03 / 10 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally France are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Spain on 22nd October.

26 / 09 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the fifteenth race in Singapore are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Suzuka in two weeks on 10th October.

14 / 09 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Japan are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is France on 1st October.

12 / 09 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the fourteenth race in Monza are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Singapore in two weeks on 26th September.

30 / 08 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The scores from Spa have been updated to reflect Alguersuari's 3-place penalty.

29 / 08 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the thirteenth race in Belgium are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Monza in two weeks on 12th September.

22 / 08 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Germany are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Japan on 10th September.

01 / 08 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the twelfth race in Hungary are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Spa in four weeks on 29th August.

01 / 08 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Finland are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Germany on 20th August.

25 / 07 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the eleventh race in Germany are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Hungary next weekend on 1st August.

11 / 07 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Bulgaria are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Finland on THURSDAY 29th July (a day earlier than usual!).

11 / 07 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the tenth race in Silverstone are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Hockenheim on 25th July.

27 / 06 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the ninth race in Valencia are in, including the penalties for the naughty boys driving too fast. Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Silverstone on 11th July.

13 / 06 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the eighth race in Canada are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Valencia on 27th June.

30 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Portugal are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Bulgaria on 9th July.

30 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the exciting seventh race in Turkey are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Canada on 13th June.

16 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The Monaco scores have been updated to reflect Michael Schumacher's ridiculous penalty for daring to overtake a Ferrari. Check the updated results, see how your team did or enter a new team.

16 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the sixth race in Monaco are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Turkey on 30th May.

10 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the fifth race in Barcelona are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Monaco on 16th May.

10 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally New Zealand are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Portugal on 28th May.

19 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Turkey are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is New Zealand on 7th May.

18 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the fourth race in China are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Barcelona on 9th May.

06 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The JWRC driver lineup has been released, so you can make your selection before teams are frozen for Turkey on the night of 15th April. If you don't pick anyone, you'll get Aaron Burkart by default.

05 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the third race in Malaysia are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is China on 18th April.

03 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Jordan are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Turkey on 14th April.

29 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the second race in Melbourne are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Malaysia THIS WEEKEND on 4th April.

14 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the first race in Bahrain are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Australia on 28th March.

09 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy F1!
Yes, there's a brand new Fantasy Formula One game! Check the rules or enter your team by Friday night to qualify for the first race in Bahrain!

08 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Mexico are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Jordan on 1st April.

17 / 02 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The points awarded for a win have changed in the real WRC, so we've reflected the changes in our scoring too. Check the rules to see the details. Next rally is Mexico on 5th March, teams will be frozen at midnight on the night of Thursday 4th March.

16 / 02 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Sweden are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team.

31 / 01 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The new rally season is upon us - 2010 Fantasy Rally is now open! Check the rules or pick a team ready for the start on 12th Feb.

25 / 10 / 2009
Fantasy Rally:
All previous years' Fantasy Rally results are online - Check the 2009 season.

02 / 08 / 2009
Reviews:
Sorry, there won't be any more movie reviews for the foreseeable future. Events have overtaken me. Catch up on reviews you may have missed.

18 / 08 / 2005
Sudoku!
Have a go at the online Sudoku game.

 

Slumdog Millionaire

Slumdog Millionaire

Cast: Dev Patel, Anil Kapoor, Freida Pinto, Saurabh Shukla.

Directed by Danny Boyle, adapted from the book Q&A by Vikas Swarup.

Story: Young Indian from the slums wins a packet on game show, is suspected of cheating.

Running Time: 2hrs.

UK certificate 15, US certificate R.

 

I'm having a little trouble with Slumdog. I'm feeling prejudiced against it because of something that hasn't even happened yet.

Dev Patel tries to teach Anil Kapoor the moves to YMCA during a quiet point in the show. Here's the thing. Slumdog Millionaire has Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar written all over it. It just has that feel. It hasn't happened yet, but I reckon my money's safe - and that really grates, because it's riddled with problems. Dev Patel, who was the scrawny sex-starved Anwar in Skins, finds himself on the Indian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire. We cut back and forth between the game show and the local police, who are trying to beat out of him how he managed to win so much money ... yeah, there we go, there's problem number one. They've told us straight away he's going to win, so every time throughout the movie when they try and build up the question-answering tension, we already know he's going to get them right. Hmmm.

Dev Patel plans to use his gigantic radioactive hand to knock out nasty cop Saurabh Shukla. Although the book doesn't mention a specific game show, the movie is very keen to tell us it's Millionaire, but then buggers about with the rules of the show. Anyone who's watched the real show will spot where they go wrong, and every time it's like a poke in the ribs. One of the differences they've added for extra tension actually eliminates the possibility of a much better ending, compared with the trite and lazy one presented to us. I can't tell you what that is without giving it away, but it's very frustrating when a muttonhead such as myself can think of a better ending than the one that's going to win it an Oscar.

Actually, I am going to tell you the better ending or you'll think I'm full of hot air. I'll put it waaaay down the bottom of this page so you have to scroll down to see it. I warn you though, it does give away the current ending...

Dev Patel and Freida Pinto find the only deserted railway platform in Indian history. But I've jumped ahead. As the cops replay the video of the show, the little slumdog explains how he comes to know these particular answers, related as they are to incidents in his short but eventful life. How convenient, then, that these events all happened in the same chronological order as the questions were asked in the show. How very, lazily, sickeningly convenient.

OK, I'm done with the screenplay rant. Maybe my lack of faith in the Oscars will be misplaced and it won't even get nominated in the screenplay category (yeah, and I'm Stephen Fry). You'd be forgiven after all that if you thought that the movie was rubbish - but that couldn't be further from the truth. Despite the clumsy screenplay, it's actually very engaging. The little Indian kids are great (though I kept mistaking one for the other) and Danny Boyle's eye for cinematography certainly helps - Boyle's previous movies have all been worth watching: Shallow Grave, Trainspotting, 28 Days Later, Millions, Sunshine - they're all movies that any buff needs to see, and I'd add this one to the list. In fact everything other than the screenplay is top notch - and it's only weirdos like me who find that kind of thing irritating. So you'll get on with it just fine.

Slumdog Millionaire is one of those talked-about movies that you feel you have to see. Ignore the numerous inadequacies in the screenplay and you'll be rewarded with a highly memorable experience.

I enjoyed this film: 4/5

I think the average moviegoer will enjoy it: 5/5

Testosterone Satisfaction Rating: 0/5

To enjoy this film: try not to let the shoddy screenplay bother you.

 

Slumdog Millionaire was released in the UK on 9th January 2009.

 

 
 

Scroll down if you want to see what the ending SHOULD have been...

 
 
 
 
 

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OK, I think they've all gone. It's just you and me now.

Right, so you remember how the game show host told the slumdog that he'd lose everything if he got the final question wrong? We all know that's not how it works on the show. In the Indian version he'd have gone back down to 640,000 rupees if he'd got it wrong, but in the movie he'd have lost it all. The final question asked who the third musketeer was, after Athos and Porthos. Ask most people that question and they'll say (wrongly) D'Artagnan, because everyone's heard of that character in the story. Slumdog guesses at Aramis, confident that "it is written" so he must be right and hooray, he gets it right and wins the 20 million rupees. Because "it is written". Pish posh.

How much better would it have been if they'd kept the 640K checkpoint and Slumdog had confidently gone for D'Artagnan. Most people watching would've thought he was right and would be expecting the right answer for the happy ending. When the "it is written" solution failed to materialise, it would be genuinely surprising. Slumdog would realise that the significance of his being on the show was to be reunited with Latika rather than to win the top prize (which does seem rather at odds with the whole spiritual ethos), and he'd still have 640,000 rupees to play with, which is a ton of money to a slumdog. Plus with his new-found celebrity status he'd be less likely to get bugged to death for handouts after winning the smaller amount. Slumdog and Latika still live happily ever after, but in a much more fulfilling way.

So there you have it. One of the many reasons I'm not a screenwriter.