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Why Did I Get Married
Jesus Christ, the crap I sit through so you don't have to. Christmas is on the horizon, so we have a whole brace of turkeys to come, but I bet none will be as hopelessly awful as Why Did I Get Married.
Why Did I Get Married is, I really really hope, the worst movie of the year. If you can think of the worst TV series you've ever seen, and imagine watching four episodes back to back, you're just about there. Truly horrific. I enjoyed this film: I think the average moviegoer will enjoy it: Testosterone Satisfaction Rating: - you may feel the need to check on your bollocks to make sure they're still there. To enjoy this film you should be: amazed by the fascinating boxy thing in the corner of the living room that makes moving pictures.
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You won't have heard of Tyler Perry. That's because his talentless arse has been filtered from our lucky British
consciousnesses by sensible marketeers who realised they'd be wasting their time shipping his dross over here.
I've only seen one other Tyler Perry movie, and that was the inconceivably awful 
OK, so the acting isn't horrible - but unfortunately the direction most certainly is, and this easily counteracts any
quality injected by the cast. Every scene looks stilted and the script is so painfully bad that Sir Laurence Olivier
himself would have looked like a schoolboy on nativity night. At one solitary moment, one of the actors deviated from the
script, and this moment stood like a beacon because all of a sudden, for one glistening second, it wasn't shit any more.
Sadly it wasn't to last. The camera work is rubbish, the editing shoddy and the plot couldn't be more obvious if it was
written on the poster. The characters are so shallow and one-dimensional that they make Postman Pat look like Hamlet and
the humour is so achingly bad that each attempt makes you groan with the sinking realisation that it isn't a spoof, and it
really isn't going to get any better. But what makes me REALLY uncomfortable is that it's making a ton of money in the
States, and that says more about the state of that nation than any retarded president ever could.
