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Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

Cast: Rhona Mitra, Michael Sheen, Bill Nighy, Steven Mackintosh.

Directed by Patrick Tatopoulos (not Len Wiseman).

Story: How the wolves got stroppy.

Running Time: 1hr 32 minutes.

UK certificate 18, US certificate R.

 

Hang on a minute! That's not Kate Beckinsale! What's going on?

Rhona Mitra wished the police hadn't yelled 'Freeze!' at that particular moment, that sword's bloody heavy. That was sneaky. I've seen the trailers, I've seen the posters. Not once did I twig that shiny Kate isn't in this episode. In fact, two of our group came out the cinema thinking they'd been watching Lenny Godber Junior throughout. Yes, she looks similar, especially in this dim light, but this is in fact Rhona Mitra, who you may remember from Doomsday, or as the bathrobe girl in Hollow Man. Then again, you may never have seen her before in your life. She doesn't quite have Kate's feral quality and so she makes a rather feeble impact - but that's largely because her two co-stars Bill Nighy and Michael Sheen are so ... present.

Michael Sheen didn't know Freddy Krueger was just round the corner. Michael Sheen ... now where have we seen his name recently ...

Amazingly, he's the guy who played Tony Blair in The Queen, and David Frost in the currently showing Frost/Nixon - we're used to seeing him with a Cheshire cat grin, not a toothy snarl. Now I come to think back to the previous Underworld movies, yes, that was him all along. I remember the poppy eyes. He's really good here, but then he always was, it's just taken a bit of exposure for us to notice. It takes a while to realise that he's the good guy, and it takes even longer before the penny drops as to how come Bill Nighy (Viktor the Vampire) is still around after being sliced to pieces in the first instalment. If you're as slow on the uptake as me, it'll be towards the end that it becomes clear ... ah, it's a prequel.

Bill Nighy likes to take in the deep, rich aroma of a nice glass of ketchup after a hard day's neckbiting. Len Wiseman doesn't direct episode three - instead Patrick Tatopoulos is given a shot. He's more of a special effects man, judging by his CV, which makes it all the more peculiar that the effects are a bit pants. Nowhere near the standard already set, the werewolves in particular all move very badly, though once they stop jumping around and get into close-up, they more than pass muster. The washed-out deep blue theme remains, which is good for the atmosphere but bad for picking out detail, and the story did take at least one unexpected turn, even if it wasn't the most innovative plot.

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans is fine. You want werewolves and vampires, you got 'em. Kate Beckinsale's shiny arse is sorely missed, but it's worth checking out just for Michael Sheen. He's going to be huge - expect to see him in a Hugh Grant role any day now.

I enjoyed this film: 3/5

I think the average moviegoer will enjoy it: 3/5

Testosterone Satisfaction Rating: 3/5 - Satisfyingly gory in places, but no nudity or swearing whatsoever.

To enjoy this film: Drink in Bill Nighy's malevolence and Michael Sheen's intensity, forget the plot.

 

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans was released in the UK on 23rd January 2009.