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14 / 03 / 2010
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02 / 08 / 2009
Reviews:
Sorry, there won't be any more movie reviews for the foreseeable future. Events have overtaken me. Catch up on reviews you may have missed.

18 / 08 / 2005
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Three and Out

Three and Out

Cast: Mackenzie Crook, Colm Meaney, Gemma Arterton, Imelda Staunton.

Directed by Jonathan Gershfield.

Story: Tube driver seeks suicidal person to jump in front of his train.

Running Time: 1hr 46 minutes.

UK Certificate 15.

 

Three and Out has an intriguing premise that turns out to be something of a misdirection, but it's good enough for a rental with a pizza.

Colm Meaney tries to explain to Imelda Staunton that you can't phone home from a starship. Mackenzie Crook (the drawn lanky Gareth from The Office) is a London Underground train driver who has the misfortune to have two people fall under his train in a month. If a third one does it before the month is out (just a weekend away), he'll get a ten-year payoff ... so starts his quest to find someone who'll kill themselves for his benefit.

Not the most promising storyline ever pitched is it? But you can't help wondering where it's going to go, and in fact it doesn't take long before it morphs into a buddy movie, matching Crook's hapless everyman with Colm Meaney's world-weary suicide risk. You may remember Colm as Chief O'Brien in the various Star Treks, though he's contributed far grittier performances in his lesser-known roles such as in Intermission and Layer Cake. He's the perfect man to play a belligerent drunken Irishman and he's by far the best thing in the movie - well at least until Imelda Staunton shows up.

Mackenzie Crook lets his mind wander to Pirates of the Caribbean 4: Bikini Atoll. Director Jonathan Gershfield has only done TV before this, and it doesn't surprise me. Made as a two-part TV movie, this might have been more successful, but it does wear a little thin around the middle. Gemma Arterton, the head girl from St Trinian's and upcoming Bond girl, at least gives the sleepy man a nudge in the ribs when she disrobes, and you certainly can't nod off during Kerry Katona's brief screen time in a role that could surely only have been advertised as "Gobby Cow". I can't think of a more perfect casting. Wind forward from there a short while and we're at the end, which took me completely by surprise, knocking in two major plot points that were as unexpected as an elephant on a zebra crossing. It's a solid ending, and one that does the script writers immense credit.

Three and Out has a great cast and scores well at the beginning and end, but limps a little through the middle. It's not a comedy, though you get the strange impression it wants to be. It's just a story, and a likeable one at that.

I enjoyed this film: 3/5

I think the average moviegoer will enjoy it: 4/5

Testosterone Satisfaction Rating: 2/5 - Gemma Arterton's boobs make their screen debut.

To enjoy this film you should be: aware that it's not what it says on the tin.

 

Three and Out was released in the UK on 25th April 2008.