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14 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy F1: The results from the first race in Bahrain are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Australia on 28th March.

09 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy F1! Yes, there's a brand new Fantasy Formula One game! Check the rules or enter your team by Friday night to qualify for the first race in Bahrain!

08 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy Rally: The results from Rally Mexico are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Jordan on 1st April.

17 / 02 / 2010
Fantasy Rally: The points awarded for a win have changed in the real WRC, so we've reflected the changes in our scoring too. Check the rules to see the details. Next rally is Mexico on 5th March, teams will be frozen at midnight on the night of Thursday 4th March.

16 / 02 / 2010
Fantasy Rally: The results from Rally Sweden are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team.

31 / 01 / 2010
Fantasy Rally: The new rally season is upon us - 2010 Fantasy Rally is now open! Check the rules or pick a team ready for the start on 12th Feb.

25 / 10 / 2009
Fantasy Rally: All previous years' Fantasy Rally results are online - Check the 2009 season.

02 / 08 / 2009
Reviews: Sorry, there won't be any more movie reviews for the foreseeable future. Events have overtaken me. Catch up on reviews you may have missed.

18 / 08 / 2005
Sudoku! Have a go at the online Sudoku game.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Cast: Kevin James, Jayma Mays, Keir O'Donnell, Bobby Cannavale.

Directed by Steve Carr.

Story: Mall detective goes Die Hard.

Running Time: 1hr 31 minutes.

UK certificate PG, US certificate PG.

It's fuzzy comedy time - step forward Paul Blart, Mall Cop.

Kevin James advises Keir O'Donnell to stand out of the vindaloo blast zone. Kevin James is a familiar face in the US thanks to his sitcom The King of Queens, but to European audiences he'll probably only be recognised as the lovelorn dancing fat bloke in Hitch. Unless, that is, you saw him with Adam Sandler in I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry - but I've a strange feeling nobody saw that over here. As shopping mall security guard Paul Blart, he is a kind-hearted lardarse struggling through life getting the thick end of most wedges. Mostly potato ones. As soon as we see him making doe-eyes at mall stallholder hottie Jayma Mays (the wide-eyed barbie from Epic Movie), we know where this is going. When the mall gets taken over by Extreme Sport nutjobs who kidnap her, we know where this is going. In fact the whole plot is like the big mall map with a huge blinking light saying "you are here".

Jayma Mays had never seen anyone blown off a Segway by a fart before. With a story as carbon-copied as this one, it'd better be funny. Well, it kind of is. Most of the comedy revolves around seeing a big fat bloke falling around a lot, and I have to admit that is pretty funny, even if the best bits have already been trailered into submission. Kevin James does the likeable loser character very well, and although he teeters on the edge of nauseating soppiness, he never quite falls in. It can only be this amenable nature that has earned the movie so much success in the US, because it's really very average and yet became the highest grossing movie of the year so far. Most peculiar.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop is unchallenging family fun. Without a mean bone in its body it will be too twee for some, but its warm and friendly manner will endear it to others. Try it if you can watch Disney movies without puking.

I enjoyed this film: 3/5

I think the average moviegoer will enjoy it: 3/5

Testosterone Satisfaction Rating: 0/5

To enjoy this film: big up the blubbery loser.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop was released in the UK on 20th March 2009.