Home Fantasy Rally Fantasy F1 Fun Stuff, Sudoku Movies Links

Forwardcharm

 

 

Latest News

09 / 09 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
Results from Rally Japan will be delayed - expect to see them around Wednesday-ish.

30 / 08 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The scores from Spa have been updated to reflect Alguersuari's 3-place penalty.

29 / 08 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the thirteenth race in Belgium are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Monza in two weeks on 12th September.

22 / 08 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Germany are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Japan on 10th September.

01 / 08 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the twelfth race in Hungary are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Spa in four weeks on 29th August.

01 / 08 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Finland are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Germany on 20th August.

25 / 07 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the eleventh race in Germany are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Hungary next weekend on 1st August.

11 / 07 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Bulgaria are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Finland on THURSDAY 29th July (a day earlier than usual!).

11 / 07 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the tenth race in Silverstone are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Hockenheim on 25th July.

27 / 06 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the ninth race in Valencia are in, including the penalties for the naughty boys driving too fast. Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Silverstone on 11th July.

13 / 06 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the eighth race in Canada are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Valencia on 27th June.

30 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Portugal are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Bulgaria on 9th July.

30 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the exciting seventh race in Turkey are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Canada on 13th June.

16 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The Monaco scores have been updated to reflect Michael Schumacher's ridiculous penalty for daring to overtake a Ferrari. Check the updated results, see how your team did or enter a new team.

16 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the sixth race in Monaco are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Turkey on 30th May.

10 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the fifth race in Barcelona are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Monaco on 16th May.

10 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally New Zealand are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Portugal on 28th May.

19 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Turkey are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is New Zealand on 7th May.

18 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the fourth race in China are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Barcelona on 9th May.

06 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The JWRC driver lineup has been released, so you can make your selection before teams are frozen for Turkey on the night of 15th April. If you don't pick anyone, you'll get Aaron Burkart by default.

05 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the third race in Malaysia are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is China on 18th April.

03 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Jordan are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Turkey on 14th April.

29 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the second race in Melbourne are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Malaysia THIS WEEKEND on 4th April.

14 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the first race in Bahrain are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Australia on 28th March.

09 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy F1!
Yes, there's a brand new Fantasy Formula One game! Check the rules or enter your team by Friday night to qualify for the first race in Bahrain!

08 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Mexico are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Jordan on 1st April.

17 / 02 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The points awarded for a win have changed in the real WRC, so we've reflected the changes in our scoring too. Check the rules to see the details. Next rally is Mexico on 5th March, teams will be frozen at midnight on the night of Thursday 4th March.

16 / 02 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Sweden are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team.

31 / 01 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The new rally season is upon us - 2010 Fantasy Rally is now open! Check the rules or pick a team ready for the start on 12th Feb.

25 / 10 / 2009
Fantasy Rally:
All previous years' Fantasy Rally results are online - Check the 2009 season.

02 / 08 / 2009
Reviews:
Sorry, there won't be any more movie reviews for the foreseeable future. Events have overtaken me. Catch up on reviews you may have missed.

18 / 08 / 2005
Sudoku!
Have a go at the online Sudoku game.

 

Kingdom of Heaven

Kingdom of Heaven

Cast: Orlando Bloom, David Thewlis, Liam Neeson, Jeremy Irons, Eva Green, Edward Norton.

Directed by Ridley Scott.

Story: Christians vs Muslims in Jerusalem in the 12th century.

Running Time: 2hrs 25 minutes.

Certificate 15.

 

Things I don't like: War. Religion. Orlando Bloom's acting. Oh boy, I think I'm going to enjoy Kingdom of Heaven about as much as the Surprise Surprise Christmas Special.

No-one expects a bluish inquisition. Kingdom of Heaven stars Orlando Bloom as Balian, a recently bereaved blacksmith. For reasons I shan't divulge, he travels to Jerusalem and leads a Christian army in a scrap against Muslims. Balian is a good man and therefore has no qualms in sending his men to their death to defend a holy city that he doesn't believe in - despite the fact that the priest is painted as an evil swine for suggesting exactly the same course of action. The morality of Kingdom of Heaven is all over the place, telling us not to have blind faith in a religion, but blind faith in your convictions is to be admired and encouraged. As with all war films, killing people is just fine as long as you think you're the good guy. And still they try and preach to us. I can only hope nobody's listening.

Orlando Bloom, Balian actor.  Arf. Right, that's my war film rant over with, what about the acting? Well, Orlando's aspirations of mediocrity seem to be paying off, he even reaches the dizzy heights of adequacy here, largely due to him toning down his bouncy puppy dial a tad. With better timing and a little less intensity at the appropriate moments, he could become a decent actor eventually. All of the cast are pretty good, with David Thewlis and Ghassan Massoud (the Muslim army boss) worthy of particular praise. The real star though, is the special effects guy. The long shots of the battle scenes are spectacular and some of them are indistinguishable from the real thing - it's only obvious that the scenes are not real because they contain a hundred thousand people. The sequence involving the city siege is one of the most effective uses of computer graphics I can remember seeing - it seems utterly real and believable that these fiery balls are being hurled at the city walls and that huge siege towers containing twenty men are rolled up to the walls. Very impressive stuff. The closer battle scenes I found less captivating. It's all very well jumping the camera around, hack here, slash there, when it's one-on-one à la Gladiator (also directed by Ridley Scott), but when there's a battlefield full of people you simply can't see who's slashing whom. People are maimed, blood is spilled, and we assume the victims are nobodies because we didn't get a close-up of their faces. It might convey the confusion of hand-to-hand combat, but it doesn't help the cohesiveness of the experience.

Eva Green.  Remember her in The Dreamers?  Ahhhhh. So it's good after all then, is it? Well, yes and no. If you like this sort of thing (Troy, Gladiator, King Arthur), then Kingdom of Heaven will be right up your alley. I, however, was bored silly. There was one enjoyable moment - when the Christians were warmongering, they got so excited that I thought the Spanish Inquisition were about to burst in - I don't think I was supposed to find it funny though...

I enjoyed this film: 1/5

I think the average moviegoer will enjoy it: 3/5

Testosterone Satisfaction Rating: 2/5 Plenty of hacky-slashy, but Eva Green's raunchy bits, despite her protests, were left on the cutting room floor.

To enjoy this film you should: enjoy mindless swords & sandy sieges.

 

Kingdom of Heaven is on general release in the UK now.

 

Your comments

The comments printed here are not necessarily the views of Forwardcharm!

 

Well Kingdom of Heaven Ridley Scott should have stopped after Gladiator. Bloom is fine in Lord of the Rings as one third of a hero but asking him to stand alone in the spot light is a mistake, he’s a lot better in Kingdom of Heaven than he was in Troy (let’s face it he couldn’t be worse)

Let’s begin with reminding ourselves of two things, namely the 6th Commandment Thou Shalt Not Kill) and the similar statement from the Qur’an And do not take any human life that God willed to be sacred other than in the pursuit of justice Why then in the name of all that is Holy do men kill under the banner of God Wills IT To this day millions have died for their faith’ and they continue to do so, anyway this is a film review not religion 101.

Back to the film: Balian is a French blacksmith who’s wife dies, enter Godfrey of Ibelin Balian’s forgotten dad. Son and father trot to holy land, dad dies on route, Balian enters Jerusalem and parties, sinks a few wells and presto happy campers. All would be ok if not for 200,000 Muslims knocking at the gates and the nasty Knights Templar waiting for war, bing bang bosh epic battle. The End!!

At nearly 2 and half hours it’s a long film and whilst the battles are indeed epic the rest of the story fails to hold your interest, however it’s not the standard Christian v. Muslim battle either, this time the Christians are the bad guys and the Muslims the ones with compassion and understanding, shame really that everything revolves around Jerusalem and there is little mention made of the people who actually have a right to fight for this particular city.

It’s difficult if not impossible to cram so much history into so small a time frame. Kingdom of Heaven supposedly takes place during the last part of the second crusade (or just after it) as Saladin and his 200,000 knights fought to re-take Jerusalem. Scott got the French bit right and that’s about it, only in Holywood could the Knights Templar be portrayed as warmongers and nothing else (Read The Templar Revelation’). It’s worth noting that Christians did nothing until Islam had conquered two-thirds of the known World, and the Crusaders with the Pope’s blessing believed that they were restoring former Christian lands to their rightful status (Gee Religion and History 101)

I have serious doubts if a French (or other Western) Knight would be as multicultural’ as Balian (but that’s our PC society) and I’m sure that people all over the world living in hot places know how to get water without needing to be shown!

There is however something magical about Kingdom of Heaven, either magic or divine intervention because how else could a blacksmith become an expert military strategist form an iron determination from a beaten population hold a city from a much stronger force and come out of it all hailed as a hero and saviour!

I could go on, simply because this film had so much potential but fails majestically to deliver, Bloom is no Crow and whilst the supporting cast are very good the film has a hole where the hero should be and is potted by historical mistakes. If you want a picture with good action and great battle scenes this one is for you if you want something else like a detailed plot and sub-plot then you’ll be disappointed.


Mike G