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25 / 07 / 2010
Fantasy F1: The results from the eleventh race in Germany are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Hungary next weekend on 1st August.

11 / 07 / 2010
Fantasy Rally: The results from Rally Bulgaria are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Finland on THURSDAY 29th July (a day earlier than usual!).

11 / 07 / 2010
Fantasy F1: The results from the tenth race in Silverstone are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Hockenheim on 25th July.

27 / 06 / 2010
Fantasy F1: The results from the ninth race in Valencia are in, including the penalties for the naughty boys driving too fast. Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Silverstone on 11th July.

13 / 06 / 2010
Fantasy F1: The results from the eighth race in Canada are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Valencia on 27th June.

30 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy Rally: The results from Rally Portugal are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Bulgaria on 9th July.

30 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1: The results from the exciting seventh race in Turkey are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Canada on 13th June.

16 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1: The Monaco scores have been updated to reflect Michael Schumacher's ridiculous penalty for daring to overtake a Ferrari. Check the updated results, see how your team did or enter a new team.

16 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1: The results from the sixth race in Monaco are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Turkey on 30th May.

10 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1: The results from the fifth race in Barcelona are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Monaco on 16th May.

10 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy Rally: The results from Rally New Zealand are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Portugal on 28th May.

19 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy Rally: The results from Rally Turkey are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is New Zealand on 7th May.

18 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy F1: The results from the fourth race in China are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Barcelona on 9th May.

06 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy Rally: The JWRC driver lineup has been released, so you can make your selection before teams are frozen for Turkey on the night of 15th April. If you don't pick anyone, you'll get Aaron Burkart by default.

05 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy F1: The results from the third race in Malaysia are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is China on 18th April.

03 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy Rally: The results from Rally Jordan are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Turkey on 14th April.

29 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy F1: The results from the second race in Melbourne are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Malaysia THIS WEEKEND on 4th April.

14 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy F1: The results from the first race in Bahrain are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Australia on 28th March.

09 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy F1! Yes, there's a brand new Fantasy Formula One game! Check the rules or enter your team by Friday night to qualify for the first race in Bahrain!

08 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy Rally: The results from Rally Mexico are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Jordan on 1st April.

17 / 02 / 2010
Fantasy Rally: The points awarded for a win have changed in the real WRC, so we've reflected the changes in our scoring too. Check the rules to see the details. Next rally is Mexico on 5th March, teams will be frozen at midnight on the night of Thursday 4th March.

16 / 02 / 2010
Fantasy Rally: The results from Rally Sweden are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team.

31 / 01 / 2010
Fantasy Rally: The new rally season is upon us - 2010 Fantasy Rally is now open! Check the rules or pick a team ready for the start on 12th Feb.

25 / 10 / 2009
Fantasy Rally: All previous years' Fantasy Rally results are online - Check the 2009 season.

02 / 08 / 2009
Reviews: Sorry, there won't be any more movie reviews for the foreseeable future. Events have overtaken me. Catch up on reviews you may have missed.

18 / 08 / 2005
Sudoku! Have a go at the online Sudoku game.

Journey to the Centre of the Earth

Cast: Brendan Fraser, Anita Briem, Josh Hutcherson. Directed by Eric Brevig, adapted from Jules Verne's book. Story: A journey. To the centre of the earth. Running Time: 1hr 32 minutes. UK Certificate PG.

Journey to the Centre of the Earth was, somehow, the first 3D movie I'd ever seen. On the strength of this, I'm not sure I'll bother with a second.

It was only a few months ago I was urging you to find a 3D-enabled cinema if you wanted to see Beowulf, but I'm having second thoughts about that advice now. They charge you an extra third to see the movie (nine quid as opposed to just under seven at the Basingstoke Odeon), which I guess is understandable given that you need the special glasses to see it, but I don't want to buy the bloody things, I just want to rent them for a couple of hours. There's no facility to return them for re-use at the end. Then there's the 3D experience itself. When things come out of the screen into your face, the effect is stunning - it's all you can do to resist waving your hand in front of your face to make sure there's nothing really there, and I involuntarily blinked every time this happened, even when I was expecting it. But it only works under very strict conditions:

On top of all that, there's no graduation in an individual object - each person's nose, for example, looks exactly the same distance away as his ears - which you may think is small enough to be unnoticeable, but it's not. Everyone looks like cardboard cutouts, like a high tech episode of Mr Benn. It's pants.

And so to the story. I've never read Jules Verne, but everyone knows he's very highly regarded. Doc Brown in Back to the Future liked him, and that was a true story, such is my understanding. It's certainly a million times more likely than this drivel. If you've ever wondered what that big flaming sunny thing is in the sky then you'll have enough nous to recognise what utter cock they spout throughout. In a movie like, say, Indiana Jones, you can forgive it because it's such good fun, but this is so tired and derivative that you'll be hard pressed to stay awake. Once they've fallen to the centre of the earth (thousands of miles in about a minute) we should really be assuming that they're doomed ... but you know they're going to come up with some pish that saves them, because it's that sort of movie. If I were to tell you right now how they actually do it, you'd think I was having a laugh. Oh yes, and there are dinosaurs, did I mention that? The CGI's good on those, I have to say.

Journey to the Centre of the Earth is fine for the kids - they should be wowed enough by the 3D and the dinosaurs. However, while Kung Fu Panda and Wall-E are still showing, you really have no reason to spend your money on this.

I enjoyed this film: 2/5

I think the average moviegoer will enjoy it: 3/5 (kids)

Testosterone Satisfaction Rating: 1/5

To enjoy this film you should be: entranced by shiny things.