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Halloween

Halloween

Cast: Sheri Moon Zombie, Malcolm McDowell, Daeg Faerch.

Directed by Rob Zombie.

Story: Psycho escapes and kills people.

Running Time: 1hr 49 minutes.

UK Certificate 18.

 

What happened to the apostrophe in Hallowe'en? It must have disappeared sometime around my early adulthood without me noticing. Much about the same time that movies like this lost their scariness.

Kristina Klebe says, 'like, whatever,' one too many times. It's been nearly thirty years since John Carpenter's original Halloween movie scared the bejaysus out of pre-yuppy audiences across the globe. Things have changed a lot since then, especially in the world of movies, where complacency settles fast and the ever-growing budgets require ever-expanding audiences, who demand something new and exciting. This new version of the first Halloween movie is neither new nor exciting, though it is not without merit. I was converted to Rob Zombie's way of filming by The Devil's Rejects, a movie that should, by all accounts, have been terrible. Halloween is his next full-length project and though it looks and feels much the same as his previous success, it completely fails to capture the atmosphere of either Rejects or the Carpenter original.

Malcolm McDowell protects Scout Taylor-Compton from the harsh critics.  SHE CAN STILL HEAR ME! True to form, Zombie has cast his real-life wife Sheri Moon Zombie (the clue's in the name) as the long-suffering mother of Michael Myers, showing early signs of his murderous future - I don't mean Austin Powers - and she's the only recognisable face until Malcolm McDowell (Clockwork Orange, Mr Linderman in Heroes) turns up as the pint-sized psycho's shrink. When the now-grown nutter escapes from captivity, which seems a VERY long way in, finally things start to get moving as he sets about his killing spree in his home town of Haddonfield. His victims are largely teenagers - conveniently in the throes of passion so we get to see their naughty bits - but it's really confusing telling them apart. More than once I thought, "hasn't he killed that one already?" but no, it's just because they were all the same characters - dizzy bint and stoner boyfriend. Oh, except for the one key character, but when she lost her glasses she became part of the amorphous teenage blob as well.

Sheri Moon Zombie didn't realise the camera was rolling when she pushed little Daeg Faerch's face into his spaghetti. So why is it not scary? Well, the build-up of suspense didn't work. We can spot Myers lurking in the background, which is usually a good way to involve the viewer, but it doesn't work here, and I think it must be the music that's to blame. This is a little odd, as Rob Zombie's history is in music rather than direction, so you'd think he'd have nailed this aspect, but it simply does nothing to raise any tension. The only bit that'll make you jump is a traditional we-know-it's-coming when-is-it-when-is-it moment that eventually jolts you by making a loud crash - not the most inspired solution. Having said that, the movie actually works reasonably well as a thriller - not something you'd ever think about the original - so with some more appropriate marketing it could've been a success. Pity that.

Halloween is a fairly faithful remake of the 1978 original, but if you treat it as a horror you'll be disappointed. Expect a thriller with some graphic killing and you might escape with your jugular intact.

I enjoyed this film: 3/5

I think the average moviegoer will enjoy it: 3/5

Testosterone Satisfaction Rating: 4/5 - graphic murder, plenty of instances of nubile flesh.

To enjoy this film you should: not expect a horror movie.

 

Halloween was released in the UK on 28th September 2007.