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Review:
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Fool's Gold

Fool's Gold

Cast: Matthew McConaughey, Kate Hudson, Donald Sutherland, Alexis Dziena, Ray Winstone, Ewen Bremner, Kevin Hart.

Directed by Andy Tennant.

Story: Newly divorced treasure hunters.

Running Time: 1hr 52 minutes.

UK Certificate 12A.

 

Fool's Gold is a Matthew McConaughey film, and is therefore pants.

Kate Hudson thinks there must be *one* movie Matthew McConaughey's been in that isn't a load of balls. I don't know why. He's not a terrible actor (at least, not all the time), he has an effortless charisma and is moderately watchable. It's just that every movie he's been in since Ed TV has been shite (Sahara, Failure to Launch). Fool's Gold shoots itself in the foot many, many times on its complete journey to ploppiness.

The first huge disaster reveals itself with the appearance of, of all people, Donald Sutherland. He's making a phone call, pretending to be English presumably for the benefit of some telephone scam or other. Then he hangs up and curiously retains the faux-Anglican tone when talking to the staff on his boat ... and then it dawns. He's actually playing an Englishman and we're supposed to swallow this drama-school impression of Lord Fancypants. Oh dear god. I'm hugely disappointed by this, because Donald Sutherland is currently enjoying a renaissance in the TV series Dirty Sexy Money, in which he's comfortably the best thing. Hmmm. Well, maybe there was nobody British in the cast to point out the cock-up. Ah. No, that one won't wash either. Ewen Bremner, the one who shat the bed in Trainspotting, is a broad Scot, but here he's trying unconvincingly to be ... oh I don't know, Ukrainian? Then there's Ray Winstone, with one of the richest and most recognisable natural voices in show business, attempting a southern US drawl so crushingly awful it would lose him a pantomime audition. Yes, I know, accents aren't important, but it's still distracting.

Donald Sutherland comes up with a plan to prevent any further Matthew McConaughey movies. It won't surprise you to learn that the plot is painfully predictable and derivative of many far superior movies. The opening scene is accompanied by a Pirates-style soundtrack to piggyback from its treasure-hunting success, and there's nary an original moment at any point throughout the subsequent bum-unfriendly two hours. Biggest surprise has to be the discovery that director Andy Tennant was also responsible for that Will Smith date-doctor romcom Hitch, which is sooo much better in every way. It's enough to make you wonder if the director of a movie actually has any influence after all.

OK, crunch time. We've learned that there's very little going for Fool's Gold ... but the same can be said for National Treasure and that did pretty well. When all's said and done, many of you will enjoy the fluffy jaunt and "funny" banter. I, however, was bored stupid.

I enjoyed this film: 2/5

I think the average moviegoer will enjoy it: 3/5

Testosterone Satisfaction Rating: 2/5 - a quick boob flash about 15 minutes in, prolonged bikini action.

To enjoy this film you should be: shallow.

 

Fool's Gold was released in the UK on 18th April 2008.