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14 / 03 / 2010
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02 / 08 / 2009
Reviews: Sorry, there won't be any more movie reviews for the foreseeable future. Events have overtaken me. Catch up on reviews you may have missed.

18 / 08 / 2005
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The Bank Job

Cast: Jason Statham, Saffron Burrows, David Suchet, Stephen Campbell Moore, Keeley Hawes, James Faulkner, Daniel Mays, Georgia Taylor, Peter Bowles, Richard Lintern. Directed by Roger Donaldson, written by Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais. Story: Bank robbers are hired to retrieve naughty pictures of a royal. Running Time: 1hr 50 minutes. UK Certificate 15.

Ah, squealing Jaguars, old school Fords and a London full of likeable scallywags. No, it's not The Sweeney vs The Professionals. Or is it?

Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais are a renowned British writing team, penning such classics as Porridge, Auf Wiedersehen Pet and even Aardman's Flushed Away. For some reason, when writing The Bank Job, they decided to ditch the well-observed comedy that made them famous, which was a major mistake. Whilst the underlying story is strong enough to hold up the script on its own, it always feels like it's on the verge of cracking a joke, but never actually does so. Maybe if you weren't familiar with Clement and La Frenais, their names on the credits wouldn't load you up with a sense of anticipation. It's like going down the pub and finding they're out of your favourite tipple - it doesn't matter how good the replacement is, it'll never match your expectation.

Jason Statham stars as the small-time 1970s criminal coerced into robbing a bank in order to retrieve some salacious photos of an unnamed royal (at least it's unnamed in the British version - in the overseas version they tell us it's Princess Margaret). Apart from driving the political puppeteers who pop up from time to time, the photos take a back seat while Statham and his occasionally inept crew (very Ladykillers) concentrate on getting into the bank without blowing themselves up. While Statham's stubbly and earthy demeanour suits the role to a tee, the elegant and statuesque Saffron Burrows dunt 'arf sahnd funny with a cockney accent, and we've seen everything else a dozen times before.

The Bank Job is pretty good fun, but feels somewhat minnowy compared to the usual heist / crime caper. It'll stand up better when it reaches the small screen.

I enjoyed this film: 3/5

I think the average moviegoer will enjoy it: 4/5

Testosterone Satisfaction Rating: 2/5 - Dodgy cockney goings-on but little to raise the pulse. Some early boobies in the opening few scenes.

To enjoy this film you should: wait for it to come on TV.