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See the rest of the reviews here.

War

Cast: Jet Li, Jason Statham, John Lone, Devon Aoki, Luis Guzman, Nadine Velazquez. Directed by Philip G Atwell. Story: FBI man chases the assassin who bumped off his partner. Running Time: 1hr 43 minutes. UK Certificate 18.

War. HURGH. What is it good for? Making mindless action films, for one.

Let your mind wander back to those heady days of puberty, when any old Arnie or Van Damme movie would satisfy the burgeoning action desire within your juvenile soul. War is the modern equivalent - a higher budget to match today's market, but with absolutely no brain involvement whatsoever. This plot has so many holes that it makes my socks look good. Jason Statham (Transporter) is the FBI man on the trail of the Yakuza assassin who bumped off his partner, which leads to plenty of bang-crashy action, intermingled with some of the more obvious product placement we've seen in a while. We don't just see Statham reaching for a beer, we get a close up on the Heineken bottle. Wonder what that cool sports car is? You won't for long, the director will show us the badge. What happened to subtlety?

OK, it's the wrong movie for subtlety, everything's done with ham fists. The director gives us some clunking great clues as to where the plot is headed, but it's so far-fetched that you still never guess it until it's rubbed in your face - and still you think they must be having a laugh. Fortunately Statham and Jet Li combine effectively, though having Jet Li as the baddie doesn't quite work - his cuddly expression does nothing to convey menace - and we see hardly any of the athletic hand-to-hand combat that we know him for. The supporting cast is unusually poor, with Devon Aoki - which of course is Japanese for "she whose face is as flat as her rack" - showing none of the screen presence that she managed in Sin City. There are some nice touches, such as the subtitles that start in Japanese and then morph into English - but that loses its coolness when you twig that it can't possibly be the actual Japanese translation because there are too many symbols. That's just lazy.

War is a rather sloppily conceived affair. Action freaks will lap up the formulaic bravado as it can be quite thrilling and stylish, but I suspect everyone else will be wholly uninterested. One to see with the lads.

I enjoyed this film: 3/5

I think the average moviegoer will enjoy it: 4/5 - for the appropriately fuelled audience, 2/5 for the rest.

Testosterone Satisfaction Rating: 5/5 - gunplay, car chases and boobs.

To enjoy this film you should: access your inner adolescent.