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09 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy F1! Yes, there's a brand new Fantasy Formula One game! Check the rules or Enter your team by Friday night to qualify for the first race in Bahrain!

08 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy Rally: The results from Rally Mexico are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Jordan on 1st April.

17 / 02 / 2010
Fantasy Rally: The points awarded for a win have changed in the real WRC, so we've reflected the changes in our scoring too. Check the rules to see the details. Next rally is Mexico on 5th March, teams will be frozen at midnight on the night of Thursday 4th March.

16 / 02 / 2010
Fantasy Rally: The results from Rally Sweden are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team.

31 / 01 / 2010
Fantasy Rally: The new rally season is upon us - 2010 Fantasy Rally is now open! Check the rules or pick a team ready for the start on 12th Feb.

25 / 10 / 2009
Fantasy Rally: All previous years' Fantasy Rally results are online - Check the 2009 season.

02 / 08 / 2009
Reviews: Sorry, there won't be any more movie reviews for the foreseeable future. Events have overtaken me. Catch up on reviews you may have missed.

18 / 08 / 2005
Sudoku! Have a go at the online Sudoku game.

Quantum of Solace

Cast: Daniel Craig, Olga Kurylenko, Judi Dench, Gemma Arterton, Mathieu Amalric, Jeffrey Wright, Giancarlo Giannini. Directed by Marc Forster, written (partly) by Paul Haggis. Story: Bond's out for revenge. Running Time: 1hr 46 minutes. UK certificate 12A, US certificate PG-13.

It's been hard, but I successfully managed to avoid ALL the publicity for Bond 22, as they always show the best bits and spoil them. Having gone to all that effort, I was expecting rather more from the movie.

I'd already predicted that Daniel Craig's second episode wouldn't match the first, Casino Royale, because it didn't have to. The franchise had already been re-ignited, so the pressure was off. However, we might have at least been treated to some kind of visual extravaganza like Matrix Reloaded - Quantum is just flat throughout, and feels very lazy, as if it's just been knocked out to make a few bazillion quid. Perish the thought. Craig himself is excellent, as you would expect, though some poor scripting has him looking like a bit of a knob more than once. The plot manages to be simultaneously simple and hard to follow, there's only one car chase at the very beginning, and that's not up to much, and the new characters have all the weight of a supermodel carrying a large helium balloon. But that's not the main problem...

James Bond is all about action. Make some cracking signature action sequences and you can get away with all kinds of silly plot devices (e.g. Die Another Day, The Transporter). The action scenes here are some of the worst I've ever seen in a Bond film, and that includes both the Timothy Dalton turds. Seemingly trying to copy the Bourne style, they've gone waaaay too far with the jiggly-jumpy-camera style to such an extent that you can't really see what's going on. As soon as you've focused on one shot, it changes. People get whacked, glass gets shattered, but the impression is of a general melee rather than a proper scrap, and it takes all the suspense out. They use the same technique in the car chase too, which is a massive error as it makes the scene discontinuous and thus totally worthless. I expect so much more from Marc Forster, director of Finding Neverland, The Kite Runner, Monster's Ball and Stranger than Fiction. I guess he just can't do action. I also expect much, much more from screenwriter Paul Haggis, who is starting to show hints that Crash was a fluke. Poor show boys, poor show.

I haven't even begun to describe the flaws in Quantum of Solace, but I'm going to stop now as it's beginning to depress me. On the drive home I was ready to give it a 3, because it did keep me occupied and the running time did go quickly - however now I come to describe it, it's just not as good as other movies I've given that rating to, so I'm afraid it's slipping to a 2. A big, fat number 2.

I enjoyed this film: 2/5

I think the average moviegoer will enjoy it: 3/5

Testosterone Satisfaction Rating: 3/5 - people get smacked a lot, but it happens so fast and in such a muddle that it could've been Des O'Connor and Julian Clary fighting, I couldn't tell.

To enjoy this film: oh I don't know. Slow down time?

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Would the cunt who keeps spamming this site please fuck the fuck off. You're never going to get your tossy cack on the site so cock off and do something more worthwhile like picking at your rancid spleen from the inside with a rusty stapler. You fuckpig.
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