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Hard Candy
Hard Candy is a movie that I really should have rated, but somehow it falls way short by being predictable and unbelievable.
Hard Candy tries to be a mint imperial but is closer to a used blob of gum. Twisted, self-important and predictable, it was worth every penny of its apparent £8.43 budget. If it actually was that cheap then they've done a reasonable job, but I suspect the remainder of the budget was actually blown on hard candy and hard liquor. I enjoyed this film: I think the average moviegoer will enjoy it: Testosterone Satisfaction Rating: - one unnecessarily long scene would have had my legs crossed if it had been better realised and less predictable. To enjoy this film you should be: able to stomach the unpleasant premise.
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Unbelievability is usually OK in movies, but not when you're shooting a real-life issue with a real-life style. The biggest
problem here is the star Ellen Page. She plays a 14-year old who meets glamour photographer Patrick Wilson on the internet
and arranges a meeting. The problem isn't that she can't act - she clearly can - it's that at no moment during the entire
103 minutes of the movie does she do anything, say anything or look in any way under 20. She's more grown up than most
60 year olds and this completely destroys the movie. The whole idea is that she's supposed to be a kid drawn into a sick
kiddie-fiddler's apartment, with unexpected consequences, but it doesn't work when the kid is blatantly 5 years older
than she's supposed to be (which, in reality, she is). I spent the whole movie expecting her to reveal at one point that
she was actually 22, but the moment never came, and the incredulity continued.
Anyway, there fortunately isn't actually any dodgy child business in the screenplay, so you've no need to worry, even if
it's uncomfortable to listen to the script at times (and not least because of Ellen Page's nauseating whine). I can't reveal
any more of the plot without spoiling it, suffice to say that the rather fanciful plot credits this 14-year old with more
nous than an entire Mafia family. Sigh. And then there's the ending - oh my, how disappointingly predictable and wanky the
ending is. Clearly the makers have much higher opinions of the story than I do - it's imbued with a sense of dinner-party
smugness that I really despise and it turned me against the movie in a rather unfair way. It's not actually that bad, it
just isn't nearly as good as it thinks it is. And the plot sucks arse.
