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Latest News

09 / 09 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
Results from Rally Japan will be delayed - expect to see them around Wednesday-ish.

30 / 08 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The scores from Spa have been updated to reflect Alguersuari's 3-place penalty.

29 / 08 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the thirteenth race in Belgium are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Monza in two weeks on 12th September.

22 / 08 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Germany are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Japan on 10th September.

01 / 08 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the twelfth race in Hungary are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Spa in four weeks on 29th August.

01 / 08 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Finland are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Germany on 20th August.

25 / 07 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the eleventh race in Germany are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Hungary next weekend on 1st August.

11 / 07 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Bulgaria are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Finland on THURSDAY 29th July (a day earlier than usual!).

11 / 07 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the tenth race in Silverstone are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Hockenheim on 25th July.

27 / 06 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the ninth race in Valencia are in, including the penalties for the naughty boys driving too fast. Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Silverstone on 11th July.

13 / 06 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the eighth race in Canada are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Valencia on 27th June.

30 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Portugal are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Bulgaria on 9th July.

30 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the exciting seventh race in Turkey are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Canada on 13th June.

16 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The Monaco scores have been updated to reflect Michael Schumacher's ridiculous penalty for daring to overtake a Ferrari. Check the updated results, see how your team did or enter a new team.

16 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the sixth race in Monaco are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Turkey on 30th May.

10 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the fifth race in Barcelona are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Monaco on 16th May.

10 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally New Zealand are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Portugal on 28th May.

19 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Turkey are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is New Zealand on 7th May.

18 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the fourth race in China are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Barcelona on 9th May.

06 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The JWRC driver lineup has been released, so you can make your selection before teams are frozen for Turkey on the night of 15th April. If you don't pick anyone, you'll get Aaron Burkart by default.

05 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the third race in Malaysia are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is China on 18th April.

03 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Jordan are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Turkey on 14th April.

29 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the second race in Melbourne are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Malaysia THIS WEEKEND on 4th April.

14 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the first race in Bahrain are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Australia on 28th March.

09 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy F1!
Yes, there's a brand new Fantasy Formula One game! Check the rules or enter your team by Friday night to qualify for the first race in Bahrain!

08 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Mexico are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Jordan on 1st April.

17 / 02 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The points awarded for a win have changed in the real WRC, so we've reflected the changes in our scoring too. Check the rules to see the details. Next rally is Mexico on 5th March, teams will be frozen at midnight on the night of Thursday 4th March.

16 / 02 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Sweden are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team.

31 / 01 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The new rally season is upon us - 2010 Fantasy Rally is now open! Check the rules or pick a team ready for the start on 12th Feb.

25 / 10 / 2009
Fantasy Rally:
All previous years' Fantasy Rally results are online - Check the 2009 season.

02 / 08 / 2009
Reviews:
Sorry, there won't be any more movie reviews for the foreseeable future. Events have overtaken me. Catch up on reviews you may have missed.

18 / 08 / 2005
Sudoku!
Have a go at the online Sudoku game.

 

Closer

Closer Cast: Jude Law, Natalie Portman, Julia Roberts, Clive Owen.

Directed by Mike Nichols.

Story: A love quadrangle.

Running Time: 1hr 44 minutes.

Certificate 15.

 

Abandon hope, all ye who believe in the basic goodness of human nature, for here be dragons. There may be romance, there may be comedy, but this is no romantic comedy. To those seeking a fluffy feel-good date movie, I say, "step away, there's nothing to see here."

Jude Law and Julia Roberts, as if butter wouldn't melt. Dark, callous and ultimately fatalistic, Closer is the malignant study of the voluble relationships between the four leading characters. "Malignant," because all the players intentionally cause considerable pain to the others and "voluble," because none of the characters can decide whose pants they want to be in. Whilst the characters are superficially different, under the surface they are very much the same, wont as they are to slip between nice and nasty when events turn against them while single-mindedly following their own lusts at the considerable cost of the others. Stripper, photographer, doctor and obituary writer, they are all written with the same pen, as if they all represent a bitter experience from the author's past. This venom is most pronounced in Clive Owen, an overtly charming but deeply malicious cat-like man, who purrs adoration while on the up, only to turn into a spitting, snarling, feral monster when wax turns to wane. Jude Law plays to his lost-schoolboy strengths - women in the audience audibly sighed when we learned that he "wakes up calling for his mother". Julia Roberts is an unusual choice for this kind of role but she pulls it off, and Natalie Portman is believable as the particularly fragile stripper. And before you ask, yes, she strips, but no, you don't see the goods.

Natalie Portman, in stripper wig. Closer seems to be about opposites and balance - yin and yang, stasis and flux. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction, every positive has a corresponding negative. Nothing stays the same, people and relationships are fluid and in a constant state of movement, yet still we resist changes. In the movie there's also a hefty chunk of resentment against the nature of humanity - the suggestion is that people are innately selfish and behave more like animals than a civilised species, the only difference being the degree to which we try and hide it from each other. It's a pessimistic but intriguing approach, and as we are accustomed to rooting for the "good" guys, we consequently don't care very much about the characters in Closer. Curiously though, we still want to see them get hurt and we take a kind of Daily-Mail-reader self-righteous satisfaction from watching them take each other apart. Or maybe that's just me.

Clive Owen, twice. Closer is an intelligent film, it's well made, well written and well acted and as such I'd recommend it to anyone with a grounded outlook on life. It's respectful to the audience, too. The viewer is treated as an attentive adult - the month-long gaps in the story are not heralded with a season change, they are just dropped in, leaving us to pick up on the clues in the dialogue. Thus it's not a movie to rent and leave on over the pizza conversation - you need to watch it and let it sink in. At times this isn't easy, simply because of the malevolent nature of the characters - but it's a side of life that we all face. If you can't see even a little of yourself in these people, try looking Closer.

I enjoyed this film: 4/5

I think the average moviegoer will enjoy it: 3/5

Testosterone Satisfaction Rating: 4/5 Natalie Portman's topless scene was cut (or made up for publicity), but she's still pretty racy in the stripper scene without showing any naughty bits. One use of the c-word, extensive gritty dialogue.

To enjoy this film you should: Have a healthy disrespect for human nature.