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25 / 07 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the eleventh race in Germany are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Hungary next weekend on 1st August.

11 / 07 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Bulgaria are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Finland on THURSDAY 29th July (a day earlier than usual!).

11 / 07 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the tenth race in Silverstone are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Hockenheim on 25th July.

27 / 06 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the ninth race in Valencia are in, including the penalties for the naughty boys driving too fast. Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Silverstone on 11th July.

13 / 06 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the eighth race in Canada are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Valencia on 27th June.

30 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Portugal are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Bulgaria on 9th July.

30 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the exciting seventh race in Turkey are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Canada on 13th June.

16 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The Monaco scores have been updated to reflect Michael Schumacher's ridiculous penalty for daring to overtake a Ferrari. Check the updated results, see how your team did or enter a new team.

16 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the sixth race in Monaco are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Turkey on 30th May.

10 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the fifth race in Barcelona are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Monaco on 16th May.

10 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally New Zealand are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Portugal on 28th May.

19 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Turkey are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is New Zealand on 7th May.

18 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the fourth race in China are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Barcelona on 9th May.

06 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The JWRC driver lineup has been released, so you can make your selection before teams are frozen for Turkey on the night of 15th April. If you don't pick anyone, you'll get Aaron Burkart by default.

05 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the third race in Malaysia are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is China on 18th April.

03 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Jordan are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Turkey on 14th April.

29 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the second race in Melbourne are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Malaysia THIS WEEKEND on 4th April.

14 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the first race in Bahrain are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Australia on 28th March.

09 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy F1!
Yes, there's a brand new Fantasy Formula One game! Check the rules or enter your team by Friday night to qualify for the first race in Bahrain!

08 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Mexico are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Jordan on 1st April.

17 / 02 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The points awarded for a win have changed in the real WRC, so we've reflected the changes in our scoring too. Check the rules to see the details. Next rally is Mexico on 5th March, teams will be frozen at midnight on the night of Thursday 4th March.

16 / 02 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Sweden are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team.

31 / 01 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The new rally season is upon us - 2010 Fantasy Rally is now open! Check the rules or pick a team ready for the start on 12th Feb.

25 / 10 / 2009
Fantasy Rally:
All previous years' Fantasy Rally results are online - Check the 2009 season.

02 / 08 / 2009
Reviews:
Sorry, there won't be any more movie reviews for the foreseeable future. Events have overtaken me. Catch up on reviews you may have missed.

18 / 08 / 2005
Sudoku!
Have a go at the online Sudoku game.

 

The Business

The Business

Cast: Danny Dyer, Tamer Hassan, Georgina Chapman, Geoff Bell.

Directed by Nick Love.

Story: Working the Spanish drug trade.

Running Time: 1hr 37 minutes.

Certificate 18.

 

I'm thinking in Cockney. This is what The Business has done to me - I can't pass a thought without adding FAHK to it somewhere in my head. Am I avin a fakkin larf? Too fakkin rite my sun. The Bizniss is a diemond flick and no mistaik. Any geezer wot sez utherwize will see the bizniss end of my fakkin shooter, gottit?

Danny Dyer - leaning on a Porsh dunt make you no player, mate. Yes, well, enough of that. The Business of the title is the narcotics trade on the southern coast of Spain, with all the associated highs and lows. Highs being largely chemically-induced, though sometimes financial, lows being the constant danger of having a limb blown off by a coked-up hoodlum. Set in the 1980s, with a cracking period soundtrack to boot, the cocaine trafficking business is in boom, with truckloads of money to be made for the bad boys prepared to take the risks. Danny Dyer plays a young trainee criminal who finds a home under the wing of successful rogue Tamer Hassan. Hassan and scary evildoer Geoff Bell (also currently playing a nutter in Green Street) make an effective good-crook bad-crook combination and they successfully rake in pots of cash as Hassan trains Dyer in the ways of the underworld. All these chaps are broad cockneys, which somehow always adds a thick richness to any scene and it helps to lift the atmosphere, just like an episode of Auf Wiedersehen Pet is helped by the Geordies.

Don't mess with Geoff Bell, he'll have your goolies. Danny Dyer has been in a number of movie roles, but to me he's best remembered for providing the voice of Kent Paul in the Grand Theft Auto video game series. Here he tones it down a little from the "awight me ol' china, hahz it hangin" school (which was deliberately overblown in GTA so the American audience knew he was supposed to be a Londoner) but he's still a broad cockney sparrer and is very good indeed as young apprentice Frankie. The script is pebble-dashed with expletives, joining the ever-increasing list of current films to pepper the c-word around with merry abandon. Somehow that word works so much better in an English accent - both cockneys and plummy home counties toffs can deal it venomously, while in an American drawl it sounds somehow sanitised. Whatever accent it's in, it's permeating society. This time next year, C**T will be the new F**K, mark my words. But I digress. The script is truly excellent - funny and warm in equal measure while retaining a high degree of realism, and it is this quality that gives The Business its great watchability.

The Business is great fun - earthy British ex-pat hi-jinks with good acting and a zingy script. It's no Lock Stock, but it holds its own and deserves to make a few quid in a busy marketplace. Nice one.

I enjoyed this film: 4/5

I think the average moviegoer will enjoy it: 3/5

Testosterone Satisfaction Rating: 4/5 Heavy drug use, mucho violencio, plenty of FACKs and CANTs flying around, the briefest nipple exposure.

To enjoy this film you should: dig the Brit-mobster thing.

 

The Business is on general release in the UK now.