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Latest News

25 / 07 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the eleventh race in Germany are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Hungary next weekend on 1st August.

11 / 07 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Bulgaria are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Finland on THURSDAY 29th July (a day earlier than usual!).

11 / 07 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the tenth race in Silverstone are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Hockenheim on 25th July.

27 / 06 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the ninth race in Valencia are in, including the penalties for the naughty boys driving too fast. Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Silverstone on 11th July.

13 / 06 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the eighth race in Canada are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Valencia on 27th June.

30 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Portugal are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Bulgaria on 9th July.

30 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the exciting seventh race in Turkey are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Canada on 13th June.

16 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The Monaco scores have been updated to reflect Michael Schumacher's ridiculous penalty for daring to overtake a Ferrari. Check the updated results, see how your team did or enter a new team.

16 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the sixth race in Monaco are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Turkey on 30th May.

10 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the fifth race in Barcelona are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Monaco on 16th May.

10 / 05 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally New Zealand are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is Portugal on 28th May.

19 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Turkey are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next rally is New Zealand on 7th May.

18 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the fourth race in China are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Barcelona on 9th May.

06 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The JWRC driver lineup has been released, so you can make your selection before teams are frozen for Turkey on the night of 15th April. If you don't pick anyone, you'll get Aaron Burkart by default.

05 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the third race in Malaysia are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is China on 18th April.

03 / 04 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Jordan are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Turkey on 14th April.

29 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the second race in Melbourne are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Malaysia THIS WEEKEND on 4th April.

14 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy F1:
The results from the first race in Bahrain are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Australia on 28th March.

09 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy F1!
Yes, there's a brand new Fantasy Formula One game! Check the rules or enter your team by Friday night to qualify for the first race in Bahrain!

08 / 03 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Mexico are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team. Next race is Jordan on 1st April.

17 / 02 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The points awarded for a win have changed in the real WRC, so we've reflected the changes in our scoring too. Check the rules to see the details. Next rally is Mexico on 5th March, teams will be frozen at midnight on the night of Thursday 4th March.

16 / 02 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The results from Rally Sweden are in! Check the results, see how your team did or enter a new team.

31 / 01 / 2010
Fantasy Rally:
The new rally season is upon us - 2010 Fantasy Rally is now open! Check the rules or pick a team ready for the start on 12th Feb.

25 / 10 / 2009
Fantasy Rally:
All previous years' Fantasy Rally results are online - Check the 2009 season.

02 / 08 / 2009
Reviews:
Sorry, there won't be any more movie reviews for the foreseeable future. Events have overtaken me. Catch up on reviews you may have missed.

18 / 08 / 2005
Sudoku!
Have a go at the online Sudoku game.

 

Alien Autopsy

Alien Autopsy

Cast: Ant McPartlin & Declan Donnelly (Ant & Dec), Bill Pullman, Harry Dean Stanton, Omid Djalili, Jimmy Carr.

Directed by Jonny Campbell.

Story: Roswell video scam.

Running Time: 1hr 35 minutes.

UK Certificate 12A.

 

Ant. Dec. A pretend alien on a slab. Not a recipe for a blockbuster, is it? Think of it as a feature-length episode of one of the endless midweek TV drama serials and you're just about there.

Doctors nowadays are very concerned about catching MRSA. Alien Autopsy was never going to attract the avid movie fan. Ant & Dec - love 'em or hate 'em - are very popular TV stars, but with the best will in the world, they're not the best actors. It's wise, then, that they've chosen to infuse this big screen outing with some of their cheeky charm instead of playing it totally straight. It certainly needs it too, because as far as British comedy dramas go (Kinky Boots, Keeping Mum, Calendar Girls), it's not nearly spicy enough. The plot isn't nearly as effective in a movie as it must have sounded during the pitch - the boys stumbling across a video of an alien dissection, losing it and having to make a fake replacement - but having said that, it's nice enough to hold the interest.

Ant and Dec try to decide whether Debbie Does Dallas can top the aesthetic subtleties of Deep Throat. Ant & Dec, bless 'em, give it a good shot but succeed only in proving they're best at television. The two chaps seem out of their depth on the big screen and it feels a little, erm, alien, watching them up there. Not only that, the editing is bizarre in places, giving the impression of a last-minute reshuffle, and some of the minor characters - specifically the woman on the plane - seem to be left hanging as if more was written and subsequently dropped to limit the running time. Overall the feel is that of a rushed low-budget affair, rather than a polished feature presentation. Where it succeeds is in its good nature, its cosy Britishness and the undeniable effortless charisma of the two leads - in a way, it's similar to The Last of the Summer Wine.

Alien Autopsy is a pleasant enough whimsical way to spend an hour and a half. Not worth a trip to the multiplex for, but it'll go down much more smoothly when it makes its swift passage to your living room. Distinctly average.

I enjoyed this film: 3/5

I think the average moviegoer will enjoy it: 3/5

Testosterone Satisfaction Rating: 0/5

To enjoy this film you should be: able to stomach Ant & Dec.

 

Alien Autopsy was released in the UK on 7th April.